Middle Way

A very important book to read

2006-08-06T02:02:17+02:00

Boy this has been dead for a long time. I have just finished "The Weather Makers" by TIm Flannery and am feeling extremely restless with it weighing on my mind. A thousand thoughts rushing around and currently no outlet for them so just wanted to put down that I urge everybody I know and everybody that knows everybody I know to read it. Get it out....preferably buy it. But read it.....it needs to be read and then spread....with haste. It is the 2006 version of the bible but far more important if you ask me. I may start delivering it to hotel drawers :)

Judgement Day

2006-03-14T01:35:00+01:00

Over the last several years I've begun to really notice judgement, when people pass it and whether or not its neccessary or constructive. Sometimes, people need enlightening about the annoying things they do. But do they? I guess I'm always thinking about that next step, which is what will it achieve and what's the purpose of doing it?

For instance, what about moral judgement, when someone is unfaithful to a partner. Do you speak up with your opinion or is it best to keep quiet and not stir trouble. If you choose to tell someone you disagree with their actions, how will they react? From personal experience, people choose to dislike that person and think of reasons why they are not qualified in speaking anyway. Is what one person sees as a bad trait, universally bad or simply a quirk that only annoys a few. If this is the case then surely its not worth hurting that person to make you and maybe a handful others happy. Would that person change anyway?

And then....what do you do if the thing the person does which is annoying or 'bad' is subconscious, is something they do without intending to in anyway and gets viewed from the outside as malicious. Even though you perceive something as being annoying or bad etc does that mean it really is? Is it worth standing up and informing someone they are a terrible person and need to change when the person's actions were maybe taken out of context and perceived in a way they weren't meant. Hmm, its tricky see. Obviously, when someone passes judgement on another, 9.9 times out of ten it is received badly so when is it really neccessary?

My problem with judgement is that it sets a person up for disaster. Once you have taken a moral high-ground, you need to really back it up with impeccable behaviour in all areas and being human that is often very difficult. When we realise things about ourselves, things that maybe we can't change no matter how hard we try, surely we can understand the concept of infallibilty and take a somewhat more understanding approach with others. But where along that continuum lies the part where sometimes we wake people up to their own behaviour for the good. Where they hadn't realised they were being offensive and were thankful to know thats how people felt so they could change. When do we know when we'll hit that 0.1 out of ten?

I work with people who are VERY difficult to get along with however, in this case I believe speaking up about their behaviour will be counter-productive so I keep quiet. In the past I have cast judgement, harshly, down on people and certainly caused them pain. I regret that. I have also sat on the other side of the fence and received harsh judgement, personally experiencing its effects. After all of that, I think I can say I'm not a huge fan of judgement. The person I consider the least judgemental person I have ever met also happens to be a person I admire tremendously. In fact, she has taught me some of the most important lessons I've ever learnt - especially about myself. And this is all from sitting back and being nothing but understanding. Repsect.

Swimming with Dolphins

2006-02-19T22:10:00+01:00

I work for a small business that takes people out to swim with dolphins - an experience that for me surpasses most. I find the range of reactions to the trip a fascinating lesson in human psychology. There are those tourists that have never seen dolphins in their life and even the slightest glimpse is enough to have them reeling in delight ( this is me 10 years later!). I love those tourists. They are constantly asking questions and listening so attentively to the answers in between the squeals of joy when the dolphins breach by the boat. Swimming is an added bonus for them but mostly being in the aura of the creatures leaves them on a buzz for the rest of the day. Then there are the ones that do not find the dolphins themselves overly impressive but become obsessed with the swimming part. They must hold fantasties of riding on Flipper's dorsal fin and playing hide and seek with them because they are certainly not content with watching. So we put them in, and of course the dolphins swim away...and this type of tourist is upset..."I didn't see them!!" This can sometimes continue until the point of the activity is entirely lost.

On the odd occasion we don't find them I do like to remind people...isn't it wonderful that these creatures are wild and can choose to swim away and hide from us if they choose, wouldn't you rather know they're out there free and happy than us guarantee you some captive dolphins? I'm sure glad. Even though sometimes the joy of the trip can be lost on a few people, everytime we find them, or even drive out on the boat to look, I get those familiar pangs of excitement, my breath quickens and there's a high chance I'll be grinning from ear to ear.

Philosophies on progress

2006-02-16T06:25:00+01:00

More and more people these days are wanting to make a difference, to be part of a solution rather than a problem. However, everyone is coming from different angles and finds some things more important than others. I met a lady in Ruatoki the other day who was running a Kohanga Reo and was determined to bring pride and a sense of community back into the area. My boss is trying to conserve the streams, lakes and wetlands around the area while simultaneously keeping the people of the land happy and informed. One of my best buds is teaching Chinese people English so they can get a job and support their family while my other best bud gives up a huge amount of her spare time and energy to help young kids do gymnastics and stay fit and off the streets. My friends up here in Ohope own a small business and are focussed on helping small businesses like themselves get off the ground and offer some competition in a market flooded with dominanting giants. My boyfriend finds the only satsifying building jobs he does are the huts in the bush that he knows people, who have spent all day out in the wilderness, treasure.

See? I guess my point is that when you have some awareness of the problems our little planet faces, and there's no shortage of them, its easy to become cynical, bitter and feel like you must be the only person in the world realising it. Its taken me a while to figure out, but you're not alone, in fact most people I meet in my life are doing something thats really great and putting me to shame. I ride my bycycle to work as much as I can be bothered, I belong to WWF and Greenpeace, I recycle....mostly, I have given up McDonalds but Burger King occassionally pulls me in. I don't buy a lot of stuff but I do watch Desperate Housewives on Monday and am currently planning to have some kids. I would consider myself an environmentalist but then again I don't think DOC should get rid of every deer in New Zealand beacuse their threat does not overwhelm the enjoyment they bring hunters and bushwalkers alike.

I am a strong believer in something being better than nothing and encouraging somethings as opposed to expecting everythings and producing nothings. Encouraging people to do something is the tricky part and my personal belief is the best way of getting there is positive encouragement in the place of negative criticism. Empathy, I have recently realised, is the number one most important skill in this world. To me it is the height of intelligence and an ability I strive for. If I put myself in other peoples shoes it becomes immediately clear that being told I'm stupid or ignorant is neither constructive, or very nice. I think if we are going to get somewhere with patching up our problems we must be willing to take ourselves off pedistals and discuss issues with people not lecture atthem about all the things they do wrong. Its human nature never to receive that very well, it may be one of our downfalls but its true. I think that the best way to get people to make change is to make them think like they thought of it themselves. I'm terrible at this, trying but still terrible, and have a gut instinct to get hyper excited about new ideas, music, revolutions but can now recognise the glaze in my companion's eyes.

Occassionally we have tendencies to get carried away with big ideas of changing the world and thats great cause thats when change begins. However, now it is occurring to me, that in the same way that if you want to solve global environmental problems, you start with living sustainably yourself - if you want everybody in the world to treat each other fairly and with respect you start by doing that in the day-to-day workings of your life, your mundane life. You have to behave in the way you want the world to carry on. Often that could translate into being nice to poor people, other races and prostitutes. Its easy to to do that though isn't it...you get automatic credit and feel good about yourselves for being so tolerant and open minded. But what about that person who owns that big company, that pulic servant, that girl that was a bitch to you, that rich lawyer that holds vastly different opinions than you? That's the real test and for me the most important time to remember what you're trying to achieve. I admit there's a fine line between treating everyone with respect and never standing up for your beliefs but at the end of the day, we're all people and there aren't many of us that are motivated with evil intentions. More importantly we will never change their opinions if we don't treat them with respect. Its like trying to convince the opposing debating team of your argument, a phenomenon that I only experience with the most charming teams :) And maybe, just maybe, the ideas we're trying to convince others of, aren't right. Wow, big call....but what if? What if we got off track, distracted and are convincing ourselves of something that isn't absolute truth? Freaky shit.

In my opinion, we should avoid becoming absolutists because we lose track of why we're doing it. For instance, we need not care THAT much about the environment, by which I mean....it doesn't care!!! The only reason we try and conserve it is so that people can continue enjoying it. Gaia could care less if she was left with bacteria and dirt..thems the breaks. Keeping the most amount of people happy is the basis of most altruistic ambitions and the best way to head there, or at least a fundamental in the process, is starting with you...how many people do you make happy in your life? How many do you piss off? How many do you offend? How many do you make feel stupid? Does that make you more happy? Maybe we need to start there and all start using that wonderful phrase that Lama Karma Sarten imparted......."Yes, thank you, you too!"