Middle Way

I work for a small business that takes people out to swim with dolphins - an experience that for me surpasses most. I find the range of reactions to the trip a fascinating lesson in human psychology. There are those tourists that have never seen dolphins in their life and even the slightest glimpse is enough to have them reeling in delight ( this is me 10 years later!). I love those tourists. They are constantly asking questions and listening so attentively to the answers in between the squeals of joy when the dolphins breach by the boat. Swimming is an added bonus for them but mostly being in the aura of the creatures leaves them on a buzz for the rest of the day. Then there are the ones that do not find the dolphins themselves overly impressive but become obsessed with the swimming part. They must hold fantasties of riding on Flipper's dorsal fin and playing hide and seek with them because they are certainly not content with watching. So we put them in, and of course the dolphins swim away...and this type of tourist is upset..."I didn't see them!!" This can sometimes continue until the point of the activity is entirely lost.

On the odd occasion we don't find them I do like to remind people...isn't it wonderful that these creatures are wild and can choose to swim away and hide from us if they choose, wouldn't you rather know they're out there free and happy than us guarantee you some captive dolphins? I'm sure glad. Even though sometimes the joy of the trip can be lost on a few people, everytime we find them, or even drive out on the boat to look, I get those familiar pangs of excitement, my breath quickens and there's a high chance I'll be grinning from ear to ear.

More and more people these days are wanting to make a difference, to be part of a solution rather than a problem. However, everyone is coming from different angles and finds some things more important than others. I met a lady in Ruatoki the other day who was running a Kohanga Reo and was determined to bring pride and a sense of community back into the area. My boss is trying to conserve the streams, lakes and wetlands around the area while simultaneously keeping the people of the land happy and informed. One of my best buds is teaching Chinese people English so they can get a job and support their family while my other best bud gives up a huge amount of her spare time and energy to help young kids do gymnastics and stay fit and off the streets. My friends up here in Ohope own a small business and are focussed on helping small businesses like themselves get off the ground and offer some competition in a market flooded with dominanting giants. My boyfriend finds the only satsifying building jobs he does are the huts in the bush that he knows people, who have spent all day out in the wilderness, treasure.

See? I guess my point is that when you have some awareness of the problems our little planet faces, and there's no shortage of them, its easy to become cynical, bitter and feel like you must be the only person in the world realising it. Its taken me a while to figure out, but you're not alone, in fact most people I meet in my life are doing something thats really great and putting me to shame. I ride my bycycle to work as much as I can be bothered, I belong to WWF and Greenpeace, I recycle....mostly, I have given up McDonalds but Burger King occassionally pulls me in. I don't buy a lot of stuff but I do watch Desperate Housewives on Monday and am currently planning to have some kids. I would consider myself an environmentalist but then again I don't think DOC should get rid of every deer in New Zealand beacuse their threat does not overwhelm the enjoyment they bring hunters and bushwalkers alike.

I am a strong believer in something being better than nothing and encouraging somethings as opposed to expecting everythings and producing nothings. Encouraging people to do something is the tricky part and my personal belief is the best way of getting there is positive encouragement in the place of negative criticism. Empathy, I have recently realised, is the number one most important skill in this world. To me it is the height of intelligence and an ability I strive for. If I put myself in other peoples shoes it becomes immediately clear that being told I'm stupid or ignorant is neither constructive, or very nice. I think if we are going to get somewhere with patching up our problems we must be willing to take ourselves off pedistals and discuss issues with people not lecture atthem about all the things they do wrong. Its human nature never to receive that very well, it may be one of our downfalls but its true. I think that the best way to get people to make change is to make them think like they thought of it themselves. I'm terrible at this, trying but still terrible, and have a gut instinct to get hyper excited about new ideas, music, revolutions but can now recognise the glaze in my companion's eyes.

Occassionally we have tendencies to get carried away with big ideas of changing the world and thats great cause thats when change begins. However, now it is occurring to me, that in the same way that if you want to solve global environmental problems, you start with living sustainably yourself - if you want everybody in the world to treat each other fairly and with respect you start by doing that in the day-to-day workings of your life, your mundane life. You have to behave in the way you want the world to carry on. Often that could translate into being nice to poor people, other races and prostitutes. Its easy to to do that though isn't it...you get automatic credit and feel good about yourselves for being so tolerant and open minded. But what about that person who owns that big company, that pulic servant, that girl that was a bitch to you, that rich lawyer that holds vastly different opinions than you? That's the real test and for me the most important time to remember what you're trying to achieve. I admit there's a fine line between treating everyone with respect and never standing up for your beliefs but at the end of the day, we're all people and there aren't many of us that are motivated with evil intentions. More importantly we will never change their opinions if we don't treat them with respect. Its like trying to convince the opposing debating team of your argument, a phenomenon that I only experience with the most charming teams :) And maybe, just maybe, the ideas we're trying to convince others of, aren't right. Wow, big call....but what if? What if we got off track, distracted and are convincing ourselves of something that isn't absolute truth? Freaky shit.

In my opinion, we should avoid becoming absolutists because we lose track of why we're doing it. For instance, we need not care THAT much about the environment, by which I mean....it doesn't care!!! The only reason we try and conserve it is so that people can continue enjoying it. Gaia could care less if she was left with bacteria and dirt..thems the breaks. Keeping the most amount of people happy is the basis of most altruistic ambitions and the best way to head there, or at least a fundamental in the process, is starting with you...how many people do you make happy in your life? How many do you piss off? How many do you offend? How many do you make feel stupid? Does that make you more happy? Maybe we need to start there and all start using that wonderful phrase that Lama Karma Sarten imparted......."Yes, thank you, you too!"